Even though lots of things were hurting today, I decided to do Coach Troy's evil two hour interval video, Have Mercy.
Well, maybe it's the weather, maybe it's hormones, maybe it's the stress or the holidays, but I found myself feeling sentimental this morning. And that's always a bad road for me to start down. I get to thinking about places that will never be quite the same for me, about things I would like to do or that I wish I had done, about people who totally rocked my world and how strange and cruel it is that life, just ordinary life, drives a wedge between what we want and what we end up with.
None of which is to say I regret my choices. I'm not into regrets. I try to make the best decisions I can at the time I make them and no one can do more than that. If some of the decisions are bad, so be it. Plenty of my decisions are good ones.
It's also not to say that I'm unhappy with where I am now. Anything I would change about my life would be a minor upgrade, not a major overhaul. I have all the basics. Anything else is window dressing.
In other words, I have no cause for complaint. I'm not unhappy. It's just that every now and then a bit of random sentimentality creeps in and I find myself wishing I could have everything I wanted instead of merely anything.
So I figured it was a good day to beat myself up on the bike a bit. Get good and tired, damage a few brain cells if possible, have a turkey sandwich, follow it up with something sweet and gooey, then take a nap.
Which is where I'm at right now-- tryptophan-enhanced, nodding off at the keyboard and ready to curl up with my kitty and a good book.
Not a bad way to spend a sentimental Sunday afternoon.
Sunday: 2 hour bike, Spinervals 9.0 Have Mercy